Ride the Wave of COVID-19 and Beyond: Self-Care and Connection

May 1, 2020
By Sam Katerji, MA, RP and Carrie Pollard, MSW, RSW

The past three articles in this series have identified how to connect with your feelings, understand your reactions to the novel coronavirus pandemic, and have suggested different ways of coping.  We discussed adjusting your perspective through acceptance and compassion to help reduce suffering, and we outlined specific strategies on how to manage anxious thoughts and focus on the behaviours you can control.  This article will expand further on these concepts by offering self-care activities tailored to your emotional needs, and by offering ideas on how to remain connected to important people in your life.

Managing Emotions

People’s ability to adjust or control their experience and the way they express feelings is diminished because we are going through so much.  It can be helpful to remember the important roles that emotions play so you can address them instead of avoiding them. Emotions make you pay attention to what is important and help motivate you, and they help you communicate your needs to others. To help you respond intentionally and manage the urge to react impulsively, you need to keep “filling your cup” by making time for self-care. When there is so much uncertainty and loss, you need a variety of ways to cope with emotions. The list below offers suggestions on different ways to do that through soothing, releasing tension, mindfully distracting, and recharging your energy.

• Soothe: have a warm shower or bath; light a candle or diffuse essential oils in a scent that calms you; cook your favourite meal; snuggle with your pet, a stuffed animal or a pillow; wrap yourself in a blanket and read a book, have a nap or watch a movie.
• Release: go for a brisk walk, bike ride or run; listen to a guided progressive muscle relaxation exercise to help you tighten and then release each of your muscle groups; listen to music that reflects or resonates with what you’re feeling; or journal your feelings and thoughts to help release them and provide perspective.
• Distract: watch a movie or tv show; play a game, or work on a puzzle; clean and organize your room, closet, or school materials; try a new recipe; or listen to music that is the opposite of what you’re feeling (i.e. if you are feeling agitated, listen to calming, slow music).
• Recharge: dance to your favourite song (and don’t forget to sing along); talk with a good friend about something that excites you (reflect on a fun memory or plan a future trip); have a cool shower or go for a brisk walk; or start a new project.

Meaningful Connection

Reaching out to people in your life is one of the best ways to reduce the psychological impact of this pandemic.  Although we need to physically distance ourselves from others right now, we can still connect emotionally and mentally.  In fact, the current situation offers an opportunity to deepen some of your relationships and to help you discern who and what really matters. As always, there may be people you interact with who are reacting in ways in which you don’t agree.  Given the unique circumstances of the pandemic, use compassion instead of criticism, and if it feels healthy, open up to closeness instead of pushing people away.  Compassion here means noticing that everyone copes differently and watching out for judgements. Some people over-function in times of stress, meaning that they will do more and need to keep busy. Others need to slow down, reflect, and focus less on doing and more on being still.   

To stay connected, it’s helpful to think of who makes you feel good; these people may also be the ones to whom you feel closest. Take time away from school or work to play a game or go for a walk with roommates or family in the home.  Phone and online access can make it easy to connect with those not living with you.  Hanging out with pets can provide comfort and a sense of normalcy. Finally, it’s vital to make time to connect inward. Spending time checking in with your feelings and what you need (through journaling, talking, meditation or prayer) is key to knowing yourself, riding this wave, and to having healthy relationships.

Putting it Together

Consider using the following questions:
How am I feeling?
What do I need more of?
What would I like to accomplish?
What am I grateful for?
What can I do to take care of myself?
What or whom do I need to have more compassion or acceptance for?
 
Use these questions every day to help connect with your feelings and priorities, and to set goals that include time for reflection, recharging, working, and connecting with others.

These articles are based on, Riding the Wave of COVID-19 and Beyond, a printable resource that includes references activities and references.  If you would like a copy of that article, please email wellness@wlu.ca