Connecting in Creative Ways: Combatting Feelings of Loneliness and Isolation
By Nathan Reeve, MEd
March 4, 2021
Almost a year into our new COVID-19 reality, if you are like so many others, chances are you have binge-watched a trendy series, purchased something you found on TikTok, or bought materials to try embroidery or paint-by-numbers (and maybe they are still sitting where you left them months ago). These are the trends we laugh about as we chat with friends, but a year into this, you may be feeling a bit detached. This is the conversation you don’t always see on your feed or talk about with others.
Emotions can come in waves, and twelve months, in a lot of people are feeling disconnected from what they are used to and from the people they usually see. This feeling may be exacerbated because we are not as able to go outside and enjoy the sunshine or fresh air because of the weather. Many people find the winter months hard, but this year is even harder (even though spring is getting closer) because our normal coping strategies have had to be altered. Talking about loneliness and isolation isn’t something that is trendy or funny or even easy to do, but it is something we all experience at various times in our life. Even if you aren’t living alone, you have probably felt some aspect of loneliness, isolation, or feeling disconnected in the last year. This is okay. These feelings may not even be related to COVID restrictions. You may feel disconnected, or that you don’t fit in. Maybe you feel as though you haven’t found your place, or maybe you are really missing your ‘normal’ university experience.
These feelings are totally valid, and more common than you think. That doesn’t mean you should ignore them. Feeling lonely and isolated can lead us to feel stuck in a negative pattern that can impact our mood and our ability to engage like we normally would. When you are feeling lonely, it can increase levels of cortisol (stress hormones), which overtime can lead to increased rates of disease, anxiety, depression, and more. Some studies have even compared the impact of loneliness with the impact of smoking 15 cigarettes a day (Perspectives on Psychological Science, Vol. 10, No. 2, 2015).
On the other side, a sense of connectedness with others has so many positive impacts on your wellness. Feeling connected can help lower your stress levels, helps you feel supported, gives life more meaning and fun, and it can be a healthy coping mechanism.
Now, if I had a dollar for every article I’ve seen in the past year that gave a list of ways to stay connected virtually, I would have enough money to buy more materials for a new hobby that I probably won’t end up using. Maybe you tried a few at the beginning but then got tired of. We didn’t think we would be living like this for this long, so maybe it is time to try them again with a different perspective. This time, instead of filling your time with activities to avoid being bored, intentionally choose activities that will help you stay connected to improve your well-being.
Acknowledge What You Are Feeling
This is the first step. We can’t move forward unless we are checking in with ourselves and understanding what we are feeling. Try writing down your thoughts and what you are feeling so you can try and find gaps in your life. This is a good way to start and can help with figuring out the next steps.
Find Creative Ways to Be Social
This is where we can be really intentional with our actions. Set aside specific time in your calendar to chat with family, friends, and coworkers through phone calls, virtual chats, or messages. If you want to talk to new people, try joining a personal interest group. Just like in person, a great way to connect with others is through shared interests and experiences. Why not try online gaming, or maybe even a
campus club! Being online has enabled us to connect with people we might not have connected with before.
Make Relationships a Priority
Whether you are establishing a friendship for the first time, or keeping one strong, prioritizing is important. Even a ten minute check-in is going to have a big impact. It might feel weird yp schedule social time in your calendar, but this is helps to make sure you are prioritizing connection. That short conversation is not only going to help you feel connected to the other person, but they may need it more than you know.
Prioritize Sleep
Feeling lonely can make you feel like you are dragging along with low energy. While many things contribute to energy levels, a good night sleep, and a consistent sleep routine is a great way to help boost your energy for tomorrow. More energy can help you stay motivated and ready to connect with others.
Be Intentional With the Personal Time You Have
While connecting with others is really important, personal check-ins are just as essential. This is how we find gaps in our strategies, feel connected to ourselves, and realize when we need to take a break or try something new. Being very intentional with the extra moments you get is key. Take that extra 20 minutes to do something you love, to explore some of your interests, to chat with friends, to take care of yourself.
It is important to remember that if you are feeling isolated, you aren’t alone. This reality isn’t forever, and while the way in which we are connecting with friends and family may not be the same as how we connected last year, it doesn’t mean we can’t stay connected. It’s also important to remember that the current reality isn’t easy to manage. Even if you have roommates or you live with family, it is still valid to feel isolated, lonely, or disconnected. But the good news is that this isn’t forever, there are simple things you can to do help, and you definitely aren’t alone.
As always, if you wish to speak to one of our team members on how to manage these feelings, you can call to make an appointment or ask questions today. We also have a trusted list of mental health resources available to all students as well as our Peer Support program, which helps connect students to other students with lived experience.